When You Need A Friend
by Kate Beckett's Golden Snitch
Summary: When she couldn't tell Castle...not yet Rated M for langauge One Shot


_AN: Just a short little oneshot that I wrote in an hour. Hope you enjoy, love you all._

He was the first one she told

The elevator door opened, and Ryan walked out, straightening his jacket. Seven thirty in the morning meant that the precinct was usually very quiet, and that day was no exception. There were a few officers scattered around the department, mostly talking or looking over files, sipping from mugs filled with coffee. He saw Beckett sitting at her desk, and moved over, sitting in Castle's usual chair next to her.

"Morning." He said, smiling at his fellow detective. She looked up, startled, then visibly relaxed with she realized that it who it was.

"Hey, Ryan." Beckett replied, closing the notebook she had been observing. "You're here early."

"Jenny went to an early morning class with Rylee, so I had nothing else to do." He looked up at Beckett, and noticed a somewhat vacant look in her eyes. "You okay?"

She blinked, and gave Ryan a half-hearted smile. "Yeah, I guess." The detective sighed and he frowned, his eyebrows crinkling in concern.

"Where's Castle? Doesn't he usually come with you?" He immediately regretted his words as he saw Beckett's face crumble, and he put a hand on her trembling one. "What's wrong?" She bit her lip, and Ryan could see, from experience with Jenny, the beginning of a breakdown. "Let's go into the break room." He said softly, and helped the woman up, leading her into the practically empty side room. She sat down on the couch, wiping away a few tears with the back of her hand as Ryan closed the shutters and poured two cups of coffee.

"Now, can you tell me what's going on?" He said, sitting down next to her and handing her a mug. Her hands shook, and she placed the coffee down on the table, which made Ryan frown slightly.

"You already had some this morning?" She looked down at her hands, shaking her head gently. His concern grew slightly, as the detective was their resident coffee addict.

"I can't." Beckett murmured, and her cheeks were tinged pink, tear streaks like pathways down her face. A glaze of realization covered Ryan's eyes, and he took her hand gently, rubbing the top of it gently. It was so simple.

"You're pregnant." He stated, looking into Beckett's green eyes. She didn't deny it, just looked away at some invisible thing on the couch.

"How far along are you?" His soft voice made her look up, and he could see tears ready to flow over her dark circles underneath her eyes.

"Around eight and a half weeks." She whispered, her voice sounding thick and vulnerable. "We weren't trying, we aren't ready for something this big." Ryan pulled her into his chest gently, and he could feel her beginning to shake in his arms.

"Have you seen anyone to confirm it?"

"The doctor." Beckett said shakily, one hand absentmindedly playing with a piece of hair. "I had been feeling off the last little while, and then I noticed I missed my period but I've always been irregular so I thought it was nothing and then," -She paused her rambling to take a deep breath- "I was throwing up the other day and it scared me because I felt fine so I went to get an appointment to make sure that I wasn't, and it turned out that I was." Beckett was visibly shaking then, and Ryan held her tighter in an attempt to soothe her.

"Calm down, Kate. This isn't a bad thing." He murmured, and she pulled away immediately, a look on her face that was either terror or anger. He couldn't tell.

"This isn't a bad thing?" She exclaimed, glaring at her fellow detective. "I'm going to have a baby, that neither I nor Castle are ANYWHERE ready for. I'm bringing a baby, an innocent child, into THIS world? This world where there's a fucking kidnapping or murder every god damn day? I don't want my child to be living a life with that around them." Tears began to spill over her cheeks as she got louder. "I'm a HOMICIDE detective, for gods sake! I don't have time for a baby! I don't even know how to take care of a baby! And yet I'M the one bringing a child into the world, I'M the one putting it in danger!" Beckett then collapsed onto the couch, her face in her palms, sobs wracking her body.

"Oh, Kate." Ryan murmured, putting his arm around the woman and patting her shoulder gently.

"W-what if something h-hap-ppens to her?" The detective stuttered, her voice slightly hoarse from the shouting that she had been doing. "What if it's all my fault?" Ryan smiled sadly, and, with his free hand, brushed a tear in the process of moving down her chin.

"You remember I've gone through this?" He said gently, and when Beckett didn't respond, he continued. "Sure, Jen and I had been trying, but that doesn't mean we were any less scared. We're both detectives here, I know I had the same concerns that you do. And when the pre-term labour started, it was terrifying. I'm not going to lie." He placed a tentative hand on her flat stomach, and she flinched very slightly at the feeling of his warm palm. "But when I held Rylee for the first time, and I heard her cry, it was worth everything. Because there is nothing, and I mean nothing, Kate, that is better then meeting your child." Beckett gave him a watery smile, and pulled away gently.

"Thanks, Kev. Do you mind if I just have a minute?"

"Of course." He squeezed her hand, stood up, and moved towards the door before turning around and frowning slightly. "Where is Castle today, anyways?"

"He has a chapter due in a few weeks that he has to get done." She sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest and wiping her eyes with the palm of her hand. "Don't tell anyone. Please."

Ryan smiled gently. "I won't, promise."

_**Reviews are deeply appriciated, then I canwrite more for you all! **_


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